FAN NEWS

SPF 52: 7 Superheroes Who Would Have the Worst Tan Lines

Kyle Dodson

Kyle Dodson

June 4, 2020

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Clothes make the man, as the aphorism goes, and a superhero's costume is no different. But while such costumes may be tailored to their wearer's unique identity, they're not always practical. With summer just around the corner, characters like Hawkman and Wonder Woman will have no problem catching some rays resulting in a nice even tan, but not all heroes have this luxury. Sometimes all those straps, pouches, and bandoliers end up leaving quite the embarrassing mark after a day spent patrolling. So grab your SPF 52 as we look at the 7 DC characters whose costumes would give them the worst tan lines.

 

 

HUNTRESS

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Let’s just say, it’s a good thing that Huntress mostly operates at night. She’s doing the right thing by covering her shoulders, but her midriff and upper thighs would certainly make for the weirdest tan line combination, not to mention the outline of her mask. It would be extremely difficult to keep your identity a secret. “Hey Helena, your face tan looks like Huntress.” “What?! I have no idea what you mean!”

 

 

TYROC

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Troy Stewart has the power of sound manipulation, but his fashion sense is far from sound. Much of his outfit looks cobbled together from other heroes. Hey Tyroc, Robin called and he wants his pixie boots back! The deep V-neck accented with chains would make for a very strange tan line, but at least he’s protecting the back of his neck with that high collar. Who knows, maybe those shiny discs reflect the sun’s rays?

 

 

COSMIC BOY

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Our second Legion of Super-Heroes member on this list, Cosmic Boy has quite the revealing costume. Rokk Krinn spent most of the late 70s rockin’ what is essentially a black bustier. This skimpy costume left little to the imagination, but gave us a lot of unanswered questions. How are his pecs even holding it up? Why even bother with the gloves? Is it comfortable? Definitely wouldn’t want to fly too close to the sun in this cosmic getup. At least his chest would have a “T” for tan. Better lather up those shoulders, Rokk!

 

 

STAR SAPPHIRE

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Star Sapphire is the reverse of most of these costumes: arms covered -- everything else exposed. It’s a costume made of pure energy, so she can manifest it however she wants. Obviously, this is how she feels comfortable, but that collar looks like it would get in the way. After any time in the sun, her entire arms would be completely pale compared to her head and neck.

 

 

BLACK CONDOR

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This former Freedom Fighter flexes his right to bare arms in his costume. Black Condor has a lot going on with these few sheets of fabric; the dickey around his neck provides some coverage, but most of his body is exposed to those harmful UV rays. The sash, well, we're not entirely sure what the sash does. Maybe it holds together his fabric wings? I for one wouldn’t be caught dead-alus in this Icarus inspired costume.

 

 

LOOKER

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This Outsider ought to stay indoors during the summer months, unless she only wants one tan leg. Looker should look harder for a more symmetrical outfit because these threads are certainly mismatched and could not be comfortable in any climate. It’s a good thing that she can levitate because there’s no way she could run with two different shoes on.

 

 

SHADE THE CHANGING MAN

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With an outfit like that, Shade should find some shade. His onesie is fine, but the circles all over his body are going to leave giant pale spots. Also, they look to be metal which might heat up and burn his skin, so he is definitely not equipped for the summer sun. No shade to him, but there’s no question that Shade The Changing Man should go change. 

 

 

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