FAN NEWS

The Search for the Sexiest Man in the DC Universe: Week 2—Hunks

Alex Jaffe

Alex Jaffe

Feb. 11, 2020

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It’s Valentine’s Season, folks, and our annual competition to find the sexiest available man in the DC Universe is already well underway! Last week, we opened up voting on the “Pretty Boys” bracket, for our entrants with a more youthful glow. ‘90s posterboys Conner Kent and Tim Drake are nuzzled neck and neck right now, but it’s not too late to get your neck over there and break the deadlock.

 

Now that we’re in our second week, it’s time to part the veil on our middleweight category: those not-too-soft, not-too-hard eligible bachelors the Goldilockses amongst you will appreciate most. Let’s bring out the Hunks!

 

 

JASON TODD

 

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If you’re the type who prefers a bad boy, Jason Todd is as bad as they come short of rotten. Don’t expect flowers on your first date; he’s more likely to ride up with a duffel bag full of your enemies’ heads. This black sheep of the Bat Family loves fast cars, fireworks, and lots and lots of guns. When you ride with the Red Hood, you’re always in for an exciting night.

 

PROS:

  •                                   • The hottest of hot messes
  •                                   • Extremely loyal to his homies
  •                                   • Criminal with a code of honor; closest you can get to dating Robin Hood without dealing                                     with Oliver Queen’s nonsense

 

CONS:

  •                                   • The messiest of hot messes
  •                                   • Way to step right into prime Jokerbait zone, genius
  •                                   • Individually complicated daddy issues AND mommy issues

 

POSSIBLE BONUS/RED FLAG:

  •                                   • Will absolutely straight up murder anyone who threatens you. Sounds charming, until you                                   realize he’s 100% serious.

 

 

MIDNIGHTER

 

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Midnighter doesn’t have time for games or niceties. When he takes you out, expect to get right down to the rough trade. Pummeling super-spies and Super-Villains across the planet works up a lot of tension, and Midnighter is shopping for a new outlet. If that sounds exciting to you, then by all means, climb aboard the Midnight Express. But be careful not to go catching feelings.

 

PROS:

  •                                   • Programmed to anticipate every possible move, and respond in kind for the ideal.                                                 outcome. You know what we’re talking about.
  •                                   • Down for whatever kinky stuff you’re into.
  •                                   • Can adequately be described as “Batman, but Sexier.”

 

CONS:

  •                                   • Still hung up on his Super Ex-Husband, and will constantly compare you to him.
  •                                   • Knowing what you’re about to do in any situation can get annoying, fast.
  •                                   • Don’t bother with the wedding registry; he will absolutely hook up with Apollo again.

 

 

POSSIBLE BONUS/RED FLAG:

  •                                   • As a WildStorm hero, Midnighter hangs out in a totally different universe than these other                                     guys. Could have you feeling isolated, but great if you just need to get away.

 

 

JOHN STEWART

 

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Who doesn’t love a man in uniform? John Stewart is a consummate leader who absolutely embodies everything it means to be a DC Super Hero. He’s selfless, committed, and inspiring to everyone who counts on his leadership. But even cosmic soldiers of the Green Lantern Corps need shore leave for a little taste of what they’re fighting for. Let this fine hunk of man know just how much you appreciate our guys in green.

 

PROS:

  •                                   • The only responsible adult in this bracket.
  •                                   • Professional architect, great with little home repairs.
  •                                   • Can do ANYTHING HE IMAGINES with that ring (you know… like fixing that leaky                                          faucet).

 

CONS:

  •                                   • Too serious to even let you try the ring on, come ON.
  •                                   • Not too big on the “secret identity” thing, don’t expect privacy.
  •                                   • Already married to his job, so you may not see him much unless you're gonna move to Oa.

 

POSSIBLE BONUS/RED FLAG:

  •                                   • A lot of Green Lantern love interests end up as Star Sapphires. So if that’s something you                                      want, this could be your way in.

 

 

JOHN CONSTANTINE

 

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A real nasty piece of work. Ask anybody. Every authority in Heaven, Hell, and Earth hates his guts, and the entire magical community spits his name like a curse. But John’s also the most fascinating bloke you’ll ever meet. Always quick with a devastating joke, always knows where the best punk shows and curry shops are, and too damn easy to fall in love with after the most magical night of your life. Just… keep in mind what you’re getting into.

 

PROS:

  •                                   • Can figuratively and literally charm your pants off.
  •                                   • Will teach you all the ancient secrets of magic like it’s no big deal, he doesn’t care.
  •                                   • You can’t deny it, that accent is pretty hot.

 

CONS(tantine):

  •                                   • He won’t just screw you. He’ll SCREW you.
  •                                   • We’re not convinced for a second that John’s in this competition for love, so watch out for                                     ulterior motives.
  •                                   • Everyone John Constantine has ever cared about inevitably gets singled out for a horrible                                    death, followed by eternal damnation. So, that sex better be worth it.

 

POSSIBLE BONUS/RED FLAGS:

  •                                   • He’s a smoker, but that’s kinda the tamest of his vices.
  •                                   • Come off it, quit hanging about. It’s John Bloody Constantine.
  •                                   • Kinda looks like Sting, when you think about it.

 

 

Which hunk is your choice to move on to the Finals in our search for the sexiest bachelor? Vote now and talk about it in our Community!