FAN NEWS

School Sucks: Ranking the Worst High Schools in the DC Universe

Joshua Lapin-Bertone

Joshua Lapin-Bertone

July 21, 2020

Stargirl.jpg

Summer is winding down, and teenagers are preparing to return to high school. But whether it's digital learning or campus classes, there’s one thing that's certain – school sucks. If you think your own high school experience was miserable, you’re not alone -- every school in the DC Universe has its own set of challenges. Let's rank the worst... 

 

 

BLUE VALLEY HIGH

blue-valley-high-stargirl.jpg

 

Name: Blue Valley High School

 

Notable Appearances: The high school was first seen in 1961’s The Flash #122, and was later used as the primary setting in writer Geoff Johns and artist Lee Moder’s Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E. series. 

 

Notable Alumni: Wally West, also known as the Flash, is probably the school’s most famous graduate. Courtney Whitmore, the heroine known as Stargirl, is a current student.  

 

Pros: If you’re watching DC Universe’s Stargirl, then you already know the Justice Society patrol the hallways of this school, which is pretty cool. 

 

Cons: In the Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E. series, students were constantly getting kidnapped via secret tunnels in their lockers, and turned into mindless drones for Dragon King. High school is stressful enough without having to worry about opening your locker. Hard pass. 

 

 

BRENTWOOD ACADEMY

brentwood-academy-robin.jpg

 

Name: Brentwood Academy

 

Notable Appearances: This school was the primary setting for Robin #74-100

 

Notable Alumni: Tim Drake, also known as Robin, spent some time in this school after his father got tired of him constantly sneaking off. 

 

Pros: If you’re rich enough, this school will let you bring your own butler. Tim got to take Alfred with him when he attended, which almost makes high school bearable. Almost. 

 

Cons: It’s an all-boys school, so it lacks a feminine touch and the bathrooms smell like a garbage dump.

 

 

GARFIELD HIGH SCHOOL

black-lightning-garfield-high.jpg

 

Name: Garfield High School

 

Notable Appearances: Garfield High was the primary setting for the 1977 Black Lightning series. 

 

Notable Faculty: Jefferson Pierce, also known as Black Lightning, who served as Secretary of Education during the Lex Luthor presidency, was once a teacher at Garfield High. It’s pretty cool that a member of the Executive Branch was once a member of the faculty here.

 

Pros: The teachers sometimes play basketball with the students (1977’s Black Lightning #1) which is pretty fun. At least it beats math tests. 

 

Cons: The school is located in Suicide Slum, one of the worst neighborhoods in Metropolis. It’s a dangerous place, and sometimes gang members will leave the corpse of a student in the middle of the gym. 

 

 

GOTHAM ACADEMY

gotham-academy.jpg

 

Name: Gotham Academy

 

Notable Appearances: The school almost feels like a character itself in Gotham Academy and Gotham Academy: Second Semester

 

Notable Alumni: According to Gotham Academy #7, not only did Bruce Wayne attend the school, but he was also expelled from it. Not many schools can proudly state they kicked Batman out. 

 

Pros: The school feels like a mansion, and there’s always a fun mystery for the students to solve. It’s like Hogwarts without the wizards. 

 

Cons: Most of the faculty look like escaped Arkham patients. What’s that all about? There’s also rumors about Killer Croc hiding out somewhere here. That’s a big fat NOPE. We’d rather take our chances with the school bully! 

 

 

SAINT ELIAS SCHOOL FOR GIRLS

young-justice-saint-elias-school.jpg

 

Name: Saint Elias School for Girls 

 

Notable Appearances: This school was frequently seen throughout writer Peter David and artist Todd Nauck’s Young Justice series. 

 

Notable Alumni: Gotham Academy may have had Batman, but this school has an actual Greek goddess! Cassandra Sandsmark, the heroine known as Wonder Girl, is currently enrolled. At one point the faculty tried to kick her out, because her superheroine identity was causing unwanted attention, but the principal was persuaded to let her stay – as long as she agreed to a “no flying on campus” policy.

 

Pros: This school has a strict “no boys allowed” policy, which means the hallways don’t smell like a dirty gym bag, and you can enter the bathrooms without a hazmat suit. 

 

Cons: Dodgeball can get violent. Extremely violent.

 

 

DAKOTA UNION HIGH SCHOOL

dakota-union-high-school-static-shock.jpg

 

Name: Dakota Union High School

 

Notable Appearances: This school saw plenty of action in the Static Shock animated series. 

 

Notable Alumni: Virgil Hawkins, the hero known as Static, proudly patrols the halls of Dakota. 

 

Pros: Sometimes a celebrity will show up, which makes biology class slightly less boring.  

 

Cons: This school has a Bang Baby problem. Bang Babies are gang members who became mutated freaks, and they’ll ruin your school year faster than a bad report card. 

 

 

Which DC Universe school will you be enrolling in this fall? Let us know in our Community