FAN NEWS

5 Social Distancing Tips from the Fortress of Solitude

Esper Quinn

Esper Quinn

May 12, 2020

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Staying inside isn’t easy. Humans are a gregarious bunch, and we find joy and enrichment in interaction. But sometimes, outside forces require us to retreat for our own safety and wellbeing. No matter how strong, fast, or skilled at jumping buildings in a single bound one might be, right now is an excellent time to isolate. Even Superman himself has a space to get away from it all: the Fortress of Solitude.

 

We may not all have arctic bachelor pads, but the principles are the same. Everyone could use a safe, comfy place to relax, have some tea, and work on defense against kryptonite. But when cramped in an impenetrable stronghold, things can get stale. Fear not: our friend Clark has learned a few lessons over the years when it comes to safely quarantining and having fun doing it.

 

 

KEEP OTHERS AWAY

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Don’t go out. Don’t let others in, unless you’ve been quarantining with them. Seems basic, but some people have real trouble following guidelines. Take the Legion of Super-Heroes, for example. They just barge right in, wanting to celebrate something that won’t happen until later today. These rambunctious youths don’t even wipe their feet first.

Politely ask them to leave, or there’s a very real danger of winding up assaulted by a litany of bitter foes working together and...well, check out “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?” in 1986’s Superman #423 and Action Comics #583 for the rest. Trust me though, it’s okay to send away visitors.

 

TRY FIXING SOMETHING

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Speaking of the Legion, those crazy kids get up to lots of adventures we can learn from. Every now and then, something lingers longer than it should. Maybe a sink has a bit of a drip, or a chair has some wobble in a leg. Before it wouldn’t be a big deal, but with all the time spent inside, these minor household nags can really add up. So with all the newfound time, it’s a great opportunity to get around to things that may have fallen on the backburner.

 

Like this shrunk-down capital city of an exploded homeworld kicking around in the trophy room. Maybe it’s time to finally get serious about embiggening! Get great home improvement tips like this and many others in the Legion of Super-Heroes episode “Message in a Bottle.

 

GET INTO GENEALOGY

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Everyone knows when time seems endless, things tend to get introspective. Where am I from? What role did my family serve in history? With a vast collection of crystals containing all the wisdom and knowledge of a lost planet, there’s no better time to put some labels on the family tree.

 

1978’s Superman: the Movie features an iconic moment in the history of the Fortress. Clark discovering his own history can and should inspire all of us to do the same. We might not all have a floating Marlon Brando head to reveal a destiny as saviors, but maybe a relative who is super in their own way will turn up.

 

TRY GARDENING

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Sometimes all it takes is a simple plant to make your dreams come true.

 

This is proved by Black Mercy, Mongol’s bioweapon in Justice League Unlimited’s’ excellent adaptation of “For The Man Who Has Everything.” This telekinetic flower paralyzes its victim and conjures up a perfect dream world based on their imagination. Obviously things right now aren’t exactly perfect, and succumbing to a fabricated reality has its downsides. But maybe taking care of a succulent or some basil will bring a safer, milder sense of satisfaction.

 

TAKE A NAP

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I’m not going to spoil The Death of Superman for you, but suffice to say, Superman has a bit of a bad day. When the bad vibes or brutal genetic monstrosities are coming from every angle, the best course of action is usually getting some good sleep. Reign of the Supermen shows time and rest can heal all wounds, and may even result in a spiffy new look. Now’s the perfect time to experiment with wardrobe!

 

 

How have you been fortifying your fortress? Share your tips with our Community!